You black men who prefer white women and we black women who you pass over

why so many black women being overlooked by black men q interracial
why so many black women being overlooked by black men q interracial

Why So Many Black Women Being Overlooked By Black Men-Q (interracial)

Note from BW of Brazil: It seems that a hot topic never completely disappears. It may even fade into the background for a while but it always lingers and one need only bring the topic back up and note that it still can be the cause of divided opinions. One such topic is the question of interracial relationships and what many see as a direct consequence: the solitude of black women. Having experienced this topic on both the American and Brazilian side, I see this as a topic that black communities in both countries will need to come to terms with in the 21st century. On the one side, we have those who believe that these types of relationships show an evolving view of race, signs of diversity and peaceful co-existence. For others, the rise in these relationships are simply another facet of a system based on white privilege and supremacy. How do you see this? Should people just “get over it” or does it signal another side of the old ‘divide and conquer’ strategy that will ultimately undermine the black community? The piece below doesn’t delve into these questions but rather addresses the outcome from the perspective of a black female. 

Lívia (Giulia Costa) e Beto (Maicon Rodrigues) (Malhação) (interracial) (2016)
Art imitating life or life imitating art? In Brazil’s media, it is rare to see a black man and black woman in a romantic setting. Photo taken from the Globo TV novela ‘Malhação’ with the characters Lívia (Giulia Costa) and Beto (Maicon Rodrigues)

You ‘palmitas’ and we who are passed over

The reality of affective racial miscegenation and the structural solitude of black women.

By Stephanie Ribeiro

Palmiteiro is a word that breaks the myth of the racially democratic and multiracial society. Where “amor não tem cor” (love has no color), with only these 10 letters one questions sexism, privileges, affective impositions and the maintenance of a Eurocentric aesthetic standard; and one highlights a structural and cruel reality that it wants to ensure: the loneliness of black women.

Palmitagem is a neologism used by black Brazilian women to refer to cis, heterosexual black men who are involved with white women, mainly because they are in a privileged position in relation to gender oppression. No, I’m not denying that black men suffer racism! I’m affirming that they don’t suffer sexism, and this allows them to enjoy the privilege of making certain: choices.

“To have privileges means to take advantage of opportunities and choices without having to think about it, like turning on the faucet at home to have water. Decisions that seem mundane but are not because of the existence of a group of individuals of the same society that don’t have the same opportunities. It is precisely because of having privileges that it is hard to understand that despite the freedom to strive and fight for what you want to, not everyone reaches the finish line with the same success.” – Túlio Custódio, to Galileu magazine, in the article – “Você é racista – só não sabe disso ainda” (you are racist – you just don’t know it yet)

We, blacks, and the lack of love

The disadvantages that we, black people, share, regardless of gender, is that of not knowing how to love. They are generally fruits of homes destroyed by racism, families who rely solely on an overloaded mother, or who live with physical aggression being naturalized. When we think of a perfect family full of love, the image that comes to mind immediately is that imposed by the media: Happy white people with two children and a dog.

Why So Many Black Women Being Overlooked By Black Men-Q (interracial)2

It seems that for black people love is something too distant. If we were to enumerate what the barriers are that racism brings us, we would cite education, wages, representation, among other fields. But we would never remember the affective field. And it is this category that many racist victories accumulate, affecting our psychological health for us to carry repeated frustrations and accept reproductions of abusive relationships. All this in silence, as if there were a structural problem. Since love is “nonsense” and is not discussed especially among educated blacks, in order to be “self-silenced” afraid of not being so “strong.”.

In Vivendo de Amor (Living in Love) by, bell hooks (2006: 188) she affirms that “many black women feel in their lives there is little or no love.” And this is a reflection of a disadvantage of black women, and of the non-choice about herself, which added to the impositions of the visions created on us by the racist imagery: we are hot sexual symbols, a stereotype created to historically justify the rape of our bodies. Or worse, we only serve to nourish, as a wet-nurse. Created in this way are the perfect conditions for the so-called:

Solitude of the black woman

In our current society thoughts linked to past violence and objectification against black women still reverberate. We are the women generally remembered when someone thinks about sex. When it comes to the stereotype of ama-de-leite (wet nurse), we are for all people in the living circle, including for friends, partners and family members, those who listen, those that nourish, and even in a financial and psychological form, we are literally sucked by others’ problems. And, without delay, we become useless once they are solved, even with our help.

  • What black women was never someone’s post-sex therapist?
  • And worse, what black woman doesn’t identify with these aforementioned situations?

Within family, friendship and romantic relationship bonds, we black women experience different forms of lack of love and isolation, unusual in the lives of white women. This is a reflection of our vulnerability in a society in which we are representatives of at least three oppressions: race, class and gender.

The solitude of the black woman is present in various affective fields. We live in the absence of love in several of our relations. Many black women, even within their relationships, feel alone.

We can remember Carolina Maria de Jesus, writing Quarto de Despejo, seeming only to portray the daily life of a slum woman, actually shows the consequences of emotional isolation cited here. For us, black women, there would be left only one alternative: fight to survive.

This real-life character becomes a national symbol of the emotional loneliness of the black woman. In her vocabulary the word love does not exist, let alone does she tell in her memoirs about some act of caring, empathy and affection, however, there exists in her narrative excess, not only hunger, but also solitude.

“Slavery created in black people a notion of intimacy linked to the practical sense of their reality. A slave who was unable to suppress or contain their emotions, maybe couldn’t survive.”- Bell hooks in Vivendo de Amor Living Love.

As Bell says, we blacks are wounded, and the racism that has created barriers in our lives does not cease to act in our interpersonal relationships. Carolina uses her pencil and an old notebook found in the trash by chance, wanting to denounce with words the inequalities and hardships that plagued her. We blacks have a hard time talking about love, or rather we had, but the rise of black feminist discourse in Brazil has given voice to several “Carolinas” that with their posts on blogs, social networks, illustrations, and even memes have begun to talk more and more about this subject, the way they judge best.

Amor afrocentrado (Afro-centered love) and the term palmitagem

Afro-centered relationships are those that involve the choice of and between black partners, possibly being of different genders and sexual orientations. The today’s discussion on the topic brings the existence of a postponement on social symbols that represent some black bodies. Today one speaks of emotional loneliness also among trans-black women, black lesbians and gay black men also.

Love designating romantic and emotional relationships HAS COLOR, yes. One of the most significant works about this is by Claudete Alvez in her book Virou Regra (Became the Rule), in which she reflects on the loneliness of black women and their subjectivity against her being passed over by the black man.

The term palmiteiro is the result of a questioning of black men done by black women in relation to affective choice of “their peers”. This is not about essentialism, based on the idea that blacks should stick with blacks, because only we understand each other. It is simply a question about the systemic presence of cis heterosexual interracial couples consisting of a black man and a white woman, in our daily lives. This presence marks itself in the representations: the Valentine Days advertisements, in novelas (soap operas), etc. The myth of the Brazilian racial democracy that was created upon the policy of miscegenation found in this composition of the perfect reproduction the composition of the ideology that “love has no color.” After all, in this national fantasy, the fallacy that “we live in a non-racist society where colors don’t matter, so much so that there are thousands of Pelés with their Xuxas”, is always important.

When I say ‘peers’, I want to show that black women are closer to black men than white women were to white men, because racism unites us.

It is also worth mentioning that comparing our country to the US in terms of a “ban on marriages between whites and blacks,” when we are dealing with palmitagem it is at the least a lack of knowledge and reading about how they affected and affect the construction of racial politics in each of the countries. In the United States there were anti-mixing laws, namely constitutionally against intermarrying; while here in Brazil, there was a thought of a lightening/whitening process of the population based on “mixing”, which did not guarantee inclusion and strengthened racism in a veiled way in the society.

As such the racist dynamic of appreciation of miscegenation in order to “erase the black component,” the black man, from different social conditions, has historically marked his preference for women with the lightest skin whenever possible. This, incidentally, is not a discussion that is new, both in Brazil and in the US, made by black women. For example, to illustrate, we need not look only in books or scholarly articles. We can draw on artistic performances and entertainment, as in the series Everybody Hates Chris, when Rochelle (the mother of the main character) says to Julius, her husband: “You can trade me for any one, but she can’t be white.” Or, in the recent film Dear White People, when the Coco character before having sex with the Troy character, says that she doesn’t date black men “as they prefer to trade black women for white women.”

They are expressing opinions and insecurities, consequences of the same questions about the emotional choices black man that we, black Brazilian women are making.

There’s no need to go to London to understand that the denouncements made in Fake Deep, by the artist, director and filmmaker Cecile Emeke, are also about us black Brazilian women who are devastated by abusive intimate relationships where we are victims including by black men.

Being Brazilian, American and European black women, experiencing the reality of countries with different racial politics, all of us in the context of the diaspora are talking about this subject. Even when not using the term “palmitagem”, there is the same tiring of always seeing black cis straight men that hold any social/intellectual privilege repeatedly opting for their “perfect” interracial relationships. Moreover, often times this choice is followed by a trail of destruction in the lives of black women, previous to the affective choice made.

Thiaguinho ao lado da namorada Fernanda Sousa
Singer Thiaguinho with wife Fernanda Sousa

Here in Brazil, Tiaguinho, Rael and Emicida are part of the new black singers and artists who hold professional prominence and, as a reflection of representation and meaning of their place, appeared in photos with their white girlfriends. There is not much novelty: they are the heirs of Alexander Pires, B-Negão and Falcão. We could cite even black intellectuals such as Franz Fanon and Abdias do Nascimento, who dedicated their lives to debating racism, for demonstration of this behavior. It is systemic!

Rapper Rael with wife

The repetition of these choices leads us to believe in two facts:

Stability has color: Black men DO prefer to maintain stable and lasting relationships with white women. And they prefer this even in the face of potentially abusive and problematic relationships, when of the lack of debate on each of privileges. Oh, and that does not mean that eventually they don’t date or have sex with black women.

rapper Emicida with Marina Santa Helena
Rapper Emicida with Marina Santa Helena

Prominent position has color: Black men who experience serious relationships with black women end these relationships as soon as they gain prominence, success or profit in their careers.

Elisa Nascimento e Abdias Nascimento
Legendary activist Abdias do Nascimento (right) with wife Elisa Larkin Nascimento

However, it is not these small demonstrations of ascension that will protect black men from the racial argument from a gender perspective. It is no wonder that they are reminded of their “palmitagem” by us black women whenever possible. And they are bothered, because this reminding questions their privilege. They also are “angry” because when we say “she is white and you are black,” we defined to them their vulnerability to racism in front of their partners.

What leads to this?

One of the first things that one questions when this structural situation of palmitagem is evident is “mas ele/eu não tem/tenho culpa: meu gosto não tem cor” (but he/I am not to blame: my taste has no color). And to deal with this argument, we can highlight this passage from a text by Ana Claúdia Lemos Pacheco:

Singer Alexandre Pires with wife and children

“A study of emotions and affection, according to some current authors of the anthropology of emotions, points to the importance of understanding how systems of emotional, sentimental and affective meanings are constructed in each society or, put another way, how the emotional signs gain meanings in specific and general situations. It is certain that regardless of the theoretical interpretations that exist in relation to the study of emotions in anthropology, there is the understanding that the area of emotions, feelings, affective choices, of conjugality, express forms of interpersonal behaviors and standards of conduct, ie, emotion plays a central role in the construction of the world, it expresses the culture itself.” – Ana Cláudia Lemos Pacheco – Raça, Gênero e Relações Sexual – Afetivas na Produção Bibliográfica das Ciências Sociais Brasileiras – Um diálogo com o tema (Race, Gender and Sexual Relations – Affectives in the Bibliographic Production of the Brazilian Social Sciences – A dialogue with the theme.

Isabeli Fontana e Marcelo Falcão
Singer Marcelo Falcão with Isabeli Fontana

In other words, taste is a social construct that overlaps and structures individual choices. And black men, just as the whole society, are conditioned and educated to see in the white woman not only the aesthetic standard of the beautiful, of beauty, as well as a symbol of the ascension and representation of what symbolizes to be a cis straight white man in society.

This is a trama of sexism, racism and class oppression; this trama that resists and insists, within the oppressed themselves, in the reproduction of oppression. For black women always empty themselves into something very painful, the perception of being passed over affectively, mainly by black men. Therefore, all that remains for us is the cry of rage in response to this situation: Palmiteiro!

That cry that leaves a mark in you, men, and like us, black people, are choosing to reaffirm the slavist logic that we only have the body that nourishes or used for sex. Not being of our “nature”, according to this ideology, to think. And it’s also not to love. The revolt that many show is by repetition and not by their individual choice.

The various questions of black women

Today, many black women question those that choose to talk about this subject, saying that they live alone and happy. We can be complete, living alone. However, the choice for being alone has to come from us and not a structural imposition of a racist and sexist society, the same that still pushes a vision of black women based on nearly 400 years of slavery.

So, how could we not be bothered with these facts, but only a black woman knows how hard it is to maintain any emotional relationship. And the situation is configured as a rule when we observe what happens to black women who manage to minimally overcome this reality affective passing over.

Yes: The world seems that it goes against us even when we are in a relationship. Even the white feminist women, who talk so much about sisterhood, when they see a black woman living the fullness of a happy loving relationship, are bothered almost immediately.

“Ahh ela é negra!” (“Ahh she’s black!”)

“Ahh ela é negra!”

“Ahhh mas ela é negra!?” (Ahh, but is she black!?)

These are some of the expressions most heard by more people that experience a relationship with a black woman. It is so ingrained in our society that we don’t have the right to love. It ends up being little revolution in the life of a black woman if she has a seemingly healthy and happy relationship. A shocking fact for others.

In Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, through the Ifemelu character, the author stresses how representative it was for a black man like Barack Obama, president of a powerful nation like the US, to go hand in hand with a black woman occupying that space in his inauguration. That’s because there are clear effects on the lives of countless black women even in relation to the existence of any affective experience. Still today we, black women, are bound to crumbs and small demonstrations of hidden and camouflaged love. It’s not just about walking hand in hand in the street.

It’s about how men, especially black men, are making public statements to their white companions even in comments on social networks; while for us to they use various excuses to leave this hidden. It’s the praise and declaration of love only in the “inbox” that carries our souls of hate and inflate our lungs to the screams of PALMITEIRO.

Some black women disagree with the use of the word palmiteiro and how it’s used. I believe that black women must be seen as full subjects enjoying as well the possibility of acting individually, not always being responsible for the collective. We have to deconstruct the idea of black women always acting on behalf of others, and succumbing to their own wills. Some of us have restricted or non-existent access, to academic readings cited here, which doesn’t imply in not understanding loneliness itself and seeking answers to this.

No, I don’t think that we are talking too much about all this. Bell said that it was a subject rarely discussed in 2006 and now in 2015 we black women are talking and exposing the wound without shame and without blame ourselves, after all, the problem is not with us and it never was. We are breaking down some barriers.

Because of this, white women who are bothered by the term, I only lament, it is necessary to expand the idea of sisterhood and intersectionality. There is indeed a lack of reading and empathy on your parts. Placing yourselves in the role of privileged women, that this is in the racial question and only reflects their affective choices. I am really tired of reading white women feeling they are victims for “only dating black men”, treating us as “angry black women who hate miscegenation.” My fatigue only increases when you are in interracial relationships, and act as if every black woman was a “danger” to him.

To white men who believe that they can question the use of the word “palmitagem”, only seek to understand what is your place of speaking. This is not about you, don’t think that we want to know what you think.

Whites and people in general using the term “palmitagem” is no evidence of an extremist attitude of black women who are reverse racists, after all racism against whites doesn’t exist, in order for this it would be necessary to reverse the structural logic of power.

To black men, black women are not desperate for relationships, and there is no possibility of only relating to a cis straight black man for a black woman. But I am rather tired of the repetition of some who say they are proud of their blackness. The inconsistency of some is really the result of little openness to broaden the discussion on gender and race.

“Relating one’s self with a woman like me implies deconstructing everything that society taught that it is a man, but it is still little debated about what the social construction of gender and power is – and how this construction affects us all.”

For black women, I really want us all always have in our heads that we are worthy of experiencing love, be it with whoever makes us happy, even if this is the choice for ourselves.

It is another revolutionary act that that the black woman loves herself and thinks of herself above all. More revolutionary than this is a black woman loving and supporting herself. Love that heals is the love that we can have for each other.

“When we black women experience the transforming power of love in our lives, we assume attitudes capable of completely altering the existing social structures. Thus we can gain strength to face the daily genocide that kills so many black men, women and children. When we know love, when love, it’s possible to see the past with different eyes; it’s possible to transform the present and dream of the future. That’s the power of love. Love heals.” – bell hooks in Vivendo de Amor (Living Love).

Source: Alma Preta

About Marques Travae 3747 Articles
Marques Travae. For more on the creator and editor of BLACK WOMEN OF BRAZIL, see the interview here.


  1. To be honest the more I read about black women complain of black men dating white women ( although successful blk women do it in Brasil at an astonishingly high rate as well) the more I find it very very offensive. This is even sexist. Black women are treating black men and objectifying them as a commodity, as if they are entitled to the love and resources successful black men provide. We black men are not objects and we should be free to love who ever we want and who will love us back… Black women are not entitled to us but act as if they are… We should not be treated as if we belong to black women and we are all indv. So please stop this sexism…

    • Here’s my thing. I don’t disagree with that, but at the same time, I’m curious to know your thoughts. What happens when the majority of black men marry non-black women? Is that not a problem? And in a situation of white supremacy in which generation after generation of middle class black men marry non-black women, produce mixed children, who in turn also marry white, is that NOT a problem? Just let it be? If that is the case, then we really have nothing to debate because we are on two different teams and political views.

      • By the time it seriously impacts you, you’ll be long dead. I’m still not sure why people are consider about side issues like this when your only job really is to produce successfully children and ensure they never experience poverty first hand.

        Actually in the United States, mixed children often marry Blacks for validation purposes since the Whites won’t accept them at ALL.

      • @Anthony Thomas
        From what I’ve seen and experienced in the US (and I don’t have numbers to confirm this), mixed race people are more likely to marry whites than people who consider themselves black and have two parents who consider themselves to be black so I believe this topic needs further exploration.

    • You are not the only Black man to notice this behavior. You are also right about Black middle class women and higher are also dating White or non-Black men and guess what Black men DON’T CARE. We don’t care in the US and we don’t care in Brazil.

      Black women in America jump up and down for joy when one of their own marries a successfully White man. Black men don’t care, well maybe a few Pro Black/Hotep types but generally nobody bats an eyelash.

      But when a Black man dates White women or says he’s never dated a Black woman or says he exclusively dates White women, Black women from another country or anything other than American Black women, all hell breaks loose.

      Media Takeout will call you a Coon of the Week, so will Bossip and Madame Noire.

      One of the few outspoken Black men is Tommy Sotomayor which is likely known by the Webmistress and others that comment here. He openly tells Black men you have a choice and considering the ratchet behavior of a MAJORITY of Black women in the US, taking your di*k and going home is the best thing for most Black men especially those from poor, Black dominated areas.

      After visiting Brazil myself, I can say it’s less formerly racist than the United States is. I was never shunned by or called a name or anything. I was in Sao Paulo for the majority of my stay.

      One of my friends is a “White” Brazilian of German decent and she dates Black men exclusively including men she met in the US when she lived here for about a year in the Los Angeles area, which is where I live.

      Quite a few of her friends are Black or dark skin Brazilians, I met quite a few of them and many of them spoke English.

      Every time a Whoa is Me Black women post appears I will bring it back down to earth and say Black women rightly or wrongly are losing the war, while winning the battle in the US and if you really think Western feminism is going to help you in Brazil, ask how it’s working out for Black women in America.

      • Hello again @”Anthony Thomas”! When I read words such as “Black men DON’T CARE” it makes not even want to responding to your comment. If we as black men and black women don’t care, it’s a done deal. It says that we don’t care about our future. It says rather than fighting for black unity, “hey, you do your thing and I’ll do mine”. I don’t stand for that type of thinking which is why you and I will probably never see eye on eye on this topic.
        As far as Tommy Sotomayor, I admit to having seen a few of his videos, but I don’t see where his often brutal verbal bashing of black women adds anything to the discussion. In fact, I would think it furthers the division. There is a way to criticize without totally degrading or dehumanizing.
        “After visiting Brazil myself, I can say it’s less formerly racist than the United States is”. I DO believe that you have vastly simplified the point. Why do you say less “formerly racist”? Are you saying it was less racist in the past than it is now? Or was this a spelling error in which you meant “less formally racist”? I don’t believe this to be true and I’ve argued this in various past posts. As I written, for me, racism in Brazil is far more effective because it unarms black Brazilians into believing the rhetoric of “we are all equal” and preferring to just throw in the towel and whiten themselves in one form or another.
        I would NEVER judge a society as being less racist based on a few visits in which I was treated well. A better synopsis would be how are black Brazilians themselves treated? What are quality of life statistics? IS there racial equality in every facet of life? ALL of these questions have been covered repeatedly on this blog and I would say your analysis is extremely flawed. The editor of the Chicago Defender also believed Brazil was far less racist than the US in his visits in the 1930s. Needless to say, he was duped. Brazilian authorities rejected VISAS of his black colleagues when they attempted to move to the state of Mato Grosso specifically because they were black. There is a good book called “African-American reflections on Brazil’s racial paradise”, or something close to that title. It shows how African-Americans first saw Brazil as a racial paradise in 30s and 40s. By the 60s and 70s they were questioning this ideology and by the 80s and 90s outright rejecting this thesis as a complete lie.

      • If you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t have wasted time copying and pasting this asshat comment…but hey, whatever helps you sleep at night!

        Oh, that’s right…you have the perfect white woman to help you with that – ROFLMAO

      • Black males post the same garbage when you call out THEIR racism.
        There are not “high numbers ” of successful black women dating or marrying interracial! Not in Brazil, Europe or America. Black women do that the LEAST of all females. And no other MALE groups date interracial as much as black males.
        Why do black males think that simply SAYING something males it true?

        This isn’t about ownership. Black males are a burden on black and the black community WORLDWIDE. Black males take from black women’s time, money, culture, political power…..but when it comes time to provide love, comfort, or……God forbid – wealth and privilege, black males choose NON-BLACK women. It’s the worst form of racism there is! And black males think they can do it and play victim?! SumonPro

    • Very well said, I totally agree, you are absolutely right, nothing else to add, you said it all!

    • You dudes are the worst kind of hypocrites walking this planet today. So in love with being black and male, you forget that it takes a black woman and man coming together to create your self-hating ass. Did a blackman give birth to you? We know the answer to this question, so, stop insulting the intelligence of blackwomen in the Diaspora as a whole. They can claim us because they birthed us. But, this is too logical for your brain to decipher aka understand. You Coons love the aesthetics of blackness, not blackness itself. Why would any sane sista fool with you…with your Michael Jackson self? Obama exposed you frauds, never can you run your trap about black folk with any credibility…Kick Rocks!

    • Black women are doing the same thing they are complaining about right here in in the u.s but we cannot do it. White america blame black people for everything that their ancestors did wrong and now the black woman has join them to bash us so the so called queen stay lonely and confused. You see black did not tell you to join the feminist movement that eventually created the animosity between you and your man. Blame yourself . the white fool you to hate your own man and she taking and instead of changing your old thinking you blaming us. There are so many black women dating outside but no one talk about it. Pure nonsense

  2. in the south of brazil is majority white but the north of brazil is majority black brazil was never a black country thanks to european immigration more than 7 million europeans came to brazil during the 1800s to 1940s ww1 and ww2 many europeans came to southern brazil there are more than 91 million white brazilians out of 200 million most in the south 49% of the brazil population is white 91 million brazilians are white brazil has the largest white population in latin america


  3. This is an honest question and please do not take offense to this.

    How many Black women in brazil do you believe ACTUALLY WANT to be with a black man? Have you ever thought about the possibility that many of these black men choose these women because the black women around them weren’t interested? How many black women in brazil honestly say that they prefer a black man as their first choice? This is an important question.

    For every famous black man in brazil with a so called white woman, you can also find a famous black woman with a so called white man.

    I say “so called” because most of the white people that you have in Brazil would NEVER in a trillion years be considered white if they came here in the US. These articles seem to be written from a female perspective and all of the blame seems to be placed on Black Brazilian men which I think is unfair.

    • Hello there Amon!

      Thanks for the comment!

      Here’s how I see this.

      First thing I must say is that the material on this blog doesn’t necessarily represent the thoughts of all black Brazilians. I would say that for the vast majority of so-called pretos and pardos in Brazil, most issues discussed on this blog don’t matter because they don’t identify with black issues and many would be quick to accuse such discussions as “reverse racism”. As such, most opinion pieces on this blog represent a minority of black people within activist circles.

      With that in mind, it is true that one often sees many black women either with white men or desiring to be with a white man, preferably with blue eyes and blond hair. It is true. A few posts on this blog have pointed this out as well.

      In various discussions in social networks, I’ve sometimes seen black men point out the fact that they are sometimes rejected by black women. But what I don’t see is black men with within activist circles writing material about this issue. So while there are men who may point this out, these comments only come when black women initiate the accusations.

      I must also point out that even within black militant circles, there are black women activists married to white men. Quite a few in fact.

      The difference I see is that with both black men and black women not seeing any contradiction in the rise of black identity and a simultaneous rise in IRs, black women activists ARE speaking out on the issue.

      In numerous discussions on this topic, when it comes up, the silence of black men is often deafening. And when it’s not, there is always the “love has no color” affirmation.

      I see both sides still having an obsession with whiteness but between the two, only black women are writing thought-provoking material about the topic that goes beyond the “love has no color” cliche.

      • So, both black men and black women do exactly the same but “black women talk about it”? ….

      • You see the same thing in the US. Many Pro Black people in the Civil Rights Movement and the Black Panther movement also married white people. Also it is mainly black women here in America who criticize black men for marrying white women. The experience is exactly the same here.

        Only recently have black men started criticizing black women for their hypocrisy on this issue. It goes like this:

        Most radical black women will be the first to call out a Black Man as a sellout for marrying a white woman and the first to congratulate a Black Woman for marrying a white man.

        My thing is this, these discussions can be healthy or poisonous. If you think that it is best for a black man to be with a black woman, that is perfectly fine. If you want to criticize and demonize black men for marrying white women, that is perfectly fine.

        However you must also preach the same message for black women. You must also be first in line when it comes to criticizing and demonizing black women who think that white men are better and prefer white men over black women. If you are not willing to do this, then you look biased and most black men will not be interested in the discussion.

        You have to think about all of the black men in your country who will get passed up for other men just because they are black before you write these pieces. That way the message can be more fair and egalitarian.

      • @Amon: On Civil Rights Movement and Black Panthers, this is not surprising as both stood for unity among races and integration.
        On your other point on bias, I will repeat what I wrote to “thepaperroute”. If there are black men willing to discuss this topic, I will gladly feature their opinions on this topic. And I am speaking of material that addresses the issue in a thought-provoking manner which goes beyond just “black women do it too” and “love has no color”. Both of these arguments show me that they really don’t want to discuss the issue but rather deflect the criticism. Now, there are a few pieces on this blog that discuss this and recently I’ve seen pieces by black men who acknowledge that white supremacy most likely influenced their decisions to marry white women. It is this deeper analysis that I would like to see on the topic.

    • Exactly! Unless they had blond hair and blue or green eyes they would be seen as a Latina in the United States. Same thing for Brazilian men, if you don’t look like a typical White guy you’re a Latino.

      There is one Brazilian You Tuber who lives in the United States and post both in English and Portuguese. He lives in a mostly White area of Southern California.

      I follow a Brazilian You Tuber who is a Au Pair in Canada, she wouldn’t past for White if she tried and she’s not trying, she has White skin, but typical features I find in Spanish or Portuguese women.

      This blog is making a mountain out of a molehill. What would Black women say if we as Black men said “Black women do it too!” like they loved to say about poor White women in the US who almost never do the same ratchet nonsense that poor Black women do like tweaking on grave plots; some of this sh*t has to be seen to be believe.

      • @Anthony Thomas:
        “Unless they had blond hair and blue or green eyes they would be seen as a Latina in the United States.” So many Americans seem to not have a clue on this topic. I agree that there are millions of Brazilians who would never pass for white in the US or Europe, but there are also millions who would be considered white any place in the world if people didn’t base whiteness on speaking English or place of birth which often distorts people’s views on race.
        “poor White women in the US who almost never do the same ratchet nonsense that poor Black women do”
        You CANNOT be serious! So you mean to tell me, you haven’t seen the endless photos of white women open mouth kissing dogs? Having sex with all sorts of animals? You haven’t seen white women defecating in public places? Why would you point out such ill behavior of just black women? Aren’t you doing the same thing you’re accusing me of doing?

  4. Yes cause black men in activist circles focus on real problems like mass incarnation and societal discrimination not stupid shit like ” omg why can’t I get blk male attention”

    • Excuse me “thepaperroute”, but I would respectfully ask you if you’ve ever been to Brazil? Do you know that at the end of the 19th century, the Brazilian government actually adopted as official policy the annihilation of the black race by means of miscegenation? Because if you don’t know this and have never been to Brazil, it would be easy for you to categorize this discussion as simply “stupid shit like ” omg why can’t I get blk male attention”.

      In Brazil today, the slow disappearance of blackness is happening through several mechanisms. 1) Murder of the black population. 2) In the 1990s, there were accusations of sterilization in northeastern Brazil, which is majority black. 3) Miscegenation.

      If you’ve never been to Brazil you would have no idea how common it is to see ENTIRE black families slowly become white after two-three generations. You’ve never seen families in which ALL the brothers and sisters married whites. So I ask this question. If what I’m saying is true, what will be there to fight for within the next 100 years when the black population could become completely consumed in a mass anti-black persons of mixed race, many of whom look pretty close to white?

      Talk to ANY black person in Brazil who is conscious of this issue and how common this is within black families and I will await your response, seeing that you don’t see this as a “real problem”.

      In the meantime, I will point out that white Europeans are discussing this very issue RIGHT NOW as Europe continues to be swamped with masses of non-white immigrants.

      That is all

      • Ok gatasnegrasbrasileiras so you replied back to both of my post kinda saying similar so for purposes of spaces I’ll just use one reply to respond to both claims

        And to your first question..: yes I have been to Brasil and I lived and worked there for a year in Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo in favelas doing communit development capacity building work . Also I speak Portuguese

        Assuming you are correct that they Are trying to exterminate the black population of Brasil the country will not become more white it’ll become more brown …sorry but mathmatics is not on the whites elites side. It doesn’t make sense one black and one white women gets together it does not ONLY affect the black race but also EQUALLY affects the white race. They lose one and blacks do to. Than that brown person marries a white women again he becomes lighter brown to the point of becoming ” white” than that ” white ” offspring marries someone who is blacks they once again become darker … The cycle continues and neither side wins but just becomes brown .. Black families don’t become white they become brown , white families that become white they become brown … BrAsil will never be like Nigeria ; it will never be like Germany . It will be like Mexico . If the white elites what Brasil to be like Mexico( but with more black features) than that’s there problem….

        Europe is currently discussing it cause every white country in the world have absymally low birth rates so they want to kill themselves off so that’s there problem while Africa has some of the highest birth rates in the world so we will be fine globally and Europeans are the ones who might die off( you can thank second and third wave feminism for that. They are exterminating the white race ( through promoting a life of luxuries and ” empowerment” over starting families and having kids which has become Associated with having a career over having families and the same ideology have destroyed black families…

        Whites hVe tried to kill blacks but we are survivors . They have committed genicide aganst themselves so they should be worried about mass migrants as their culture and race declines and our ncreases. To me it’s ironic how by trying to kill us off they are killing themselves at a faster pace

        In conclusion the numbers and simply math don’t add up… If black disappears whites will in Brasil as well ( probably even at a faster rate)… It’s funny to see black women only care when successful black males date white and only want black men with money but don’t seem to want a black male that does have a lot of money …I call this female entitlement and hypergamy and overall bullshit … Sickening

      • @ thepaperroute
        I don’t disagree with everything you wrote, but we DO have differences.
        1) Ultimately it is true that when blacks and whites thoroughly mix, both races are no longer what they were. But where I disagree is this. With mixture for about five centuries in Brazil, what I see is that the darkest of black skin color is slowly disappearing. What will soon remain be masses of persons with very light, almost white skin. In essence, while it is true, most of the mixed group wouldn’t pass for white in Europe or North America, within Brazil itself, many, if not the majority of these people will either see themselves as white or have strongly whitened political views. What I’m saying is that, various studies show us that so-called “pardos” generally don’t identify with blackness or the black struggle. In fact, their views and beliefs, under a system of white supremacy will be strongly in favor of whiteness or the maintenance of the status quo, which by default, is another victory for white supremacy.
        In the future this would mean an extremely small portion of dark-skinned blacks who identify themselves as black while masses of persons who have internalized anti-black views (whites and light-skinned persons of mixed-race) are the vast majority.
        2) You could argue that Brazil is “browning” but the subconscious goal of most of the population seems to be whiteness. In the end, even if you argue that whites who mix are genociding themselves as well, ideologically, lighter-skinned mixed people will identify with whiteness even if they themselves aren’t quite white. No Brazil can never be as white as Europe, but with whiteness as the ever present goal, it neutralizes any sort of black struggle because people will continue the idea that “we are all equal” while secretly wishing for a whiter future.
        3) There IS indeed a project to exterminate the white race. It is documented and can be seen in the masses of non-whites flooding into Europe, Australia and the US. I don’t hate white people, but I DO hate white supremacy. I believe that ALL groups on the planet have the right to existence and when we see plans to annihilate any group of people, we should fight this.
        4) I also have seen and heard from black males that many black women seem to have an open preference for white skin, blond hair and blue eyes, and any time a black male would like to step forward with well-thought out essay on this topic, it will have space on this blog. The blog is full of piece by black women on the topic because they are the ones writing about this topic.
        I recently received a message from a black Brazilian male living in Finland who has questioned his own choice of marrying a white woman. He tells me that while he loves her, he is now questioning how social engineering may have steered him into preferring white women. And it is THAT which I wish to explore more. People need to get beyond this “love has no color” BS and be willing to look deeper and analyze how many of our choices are in fact engineered.

  5. Dating is not a political nor a social statement. Just because your date is Black/White doesn’t mean you necessariy date persons of that particular color only. If you are actually that specific about your date then maybe you are just a racist, maybe not but indeed you are passing over wonderful people.
    Like Bob Marley said, Skin colors should have no more significance than eyes color.
    That’s the way I’ve always lived and I’m happy I’ve always chosen friends or dates regardless of something as unsignificant as skin color… Life is short guys, wake up!

    • @ Francis Alain Konan: No one is saying that ALL people of any group date only persons of another group. But what women on this blog are saying (and I have seen myself) is that there are numerous black Brazilian men who have dated exclusively white women, have only dated black women until they can get a white woman or trade the black woman for a white woman when they reach a certain social pinnacle.
      “Skin colors should have no more significance”. The world would be completely different if things happened the way they SHOULD happen rather than how they actually are. If things went as they SHOULD go, we wouldn’t even be discussing this because everything would be perfect!
      “something as unsignificant as skin color”. Amazing how people like to label things as “insignificant” when so many studies show the differences in life chances change drastically when simply controlling by skin color. Have you read any material on this blog? In fact, life is made short by these significant differences so perhaps YOU should wake up!

      • “Amazing how people like to label things as “insignificant” when so many studies show the differences in life chances change drastically when simply controlling by skin color”

        Eh, same with male height here in the USA.

  6. Love has no color! Deal with it! People like you make a big deal about it, but you’re wasting your, people date people of other color, get married have kids all the time. It’s happening on every continent wether you like it or not..

    • You are very naïve and don’t live in the real world. In the REAL world color definitely matters. Who you marry is a political and social statement. Saying that “loves has no color” is an illusion. Please come back to reality.

    • @ Francis Alain Konan
      Excuse me, but I really don’t have any time for utopian idealism. If you’re not willing to delve deeper into the causes of certain social trends, this isn’t the place for the debate. It’s time to move on from “We Are the World”.

  7. Oh so you promote your hotep/pro black nonsense? Wow… As the brother above me said, there is no risk of the Black race becoming eliminated. Whites are the ones with low birth rates, hypergamy on steroids and stupid sh*t female entitlement. Black women have tried to adopt this attitude and Black men aren’t buying it.

    Black women only want successful Black men. But get mad when a man they ignored marries somebody that doesn’t look like them.

    It’s a fact and you can’t change it to fit your narrative. If your BS is to be believed then that would also men Black men would have to bow to Black women and accept their BS.

    No thanks

    • And what is your narrative Uncle Thomas? Run out and make mixed babies? Will that end racism? No it wont you moron. Who said bow down to black women? Don’t put words in my mouth. I just promote black love and black unity. So yes I am apologies! You sound like a self hating anti-black clown. You make black men look like fools with that stupid rhetoric. being pro black is not nonsense. It’s common sense. But you wouldn’t understand that because you worship white women. We don’t need mindless zombies like you in the struggle. Be gone!

      • Although I try to avoid getting into name-calling, much of Thomas’s rhetoric makes your synopsis appear to be true. Bottom line: if you are not pro-black, you will use a myriad of reasons to explain why you are not and then try to defend your position as if it makes sense.

      • Thank you. I appreciate that. I’m glad you see my point. It’s just frustrating dealing with such brainwashed blacks. They don’t understand the system of white supremacy and how it operates. We must embrace our African culture and love our unique beauty. Self love and self respect is the cure to anti-blackness. The more black people realize this we will be mentally free from the enslavement of white supremacy.

      • As I said there is no risk of the Black race going anywhere. Subjects like IR always brings the alarmist in the Black Community.

        Paula is right, in the UK, marriages between a White Anglo woman (also some Eastern European women) and British Black men is around 22%, while co-habitation is around 50%!

        This website has said marriage rates for BM/WW is around 36%. They throw in that BW in Brazil marry White men at nearly the same rate.

        Then this negro Kushite is mum on that and tells Black men need to stay away from White women.

        Once again proving that Pro Black/Hotep negros love Black women so much they overlook their BS all the time.

        Black women love to call themselves Queen, Mother Earth and all that.

        White women never make such claims. So when they engage in bestiality there’s nothing to talk about.

        But Queens don’t kill their children in cold blood and I’m not talking about abortion either. Queens also aren’t absent parents and allow their children to burn to death in the house while she goes out “clubbing”. Queens don’t put broke Black men on child support but do it regularly.

        There’s always alarm when Black men marry/date/procreate with non Black women.

        But when it’s the other way around either silence or celebration. Then blame Black men for not “stepping up” = Queen

      • Listen Uncle Thomas,if you’re that upset just get you a white woman and call it a day. There’s no need to go on these long ass rants because you hate black women. Sistas have their faults,I have said it many times. Black women are not perfect but marrying whites(non blacks) is NOT the answer. You guys love to make fun of conscious/pro-black people but we are the only answer for our people. It’s not easy being pro-black in an anti-black world. It’s easier to just love white people and seek their validation. Loving your oppressor is not revolutionary. That is stupidity! I come in the spirit of the great ancestors like Marcus Garvey,Harriet Tubman and Malcolm X. They didn’t take the easy road like so many black cowards. So I take pride in being a “hotep negro”. You can say that all damn day. I don’t get offended at all. It’s better than being a buckdancing,shucking and jiving clown for your This is coming from your favorite Hotep Negro,Kushite Prince. Now go home and kiss your cave woman girlfriend. We keep it black over

      • And by the way Uncle Thomas,A Tommy Sotomayer video is a bad look. Everyone knows he’s the biggest self-hater in the world. He hates his black skin and hates all dark skinned women. So you’ll have to do better than a video by this buffoon. Nice try

    • First of all, Anthony, when I discuss this topic I speak specifically of the situation in Brazil. And if you spend enough time in Brazil you CANNOT deny an overall whitening of the population as an ongoing process.

      Also, from you comments over the course of this blog, it seems that you have a need to justify your reasons for rejecting black women.

      It seems you have no desire to speak about the issue to perhaps come closer to a solution but have clearly made your decision in terms of what type of women you DON’T want. If that is the case, we really have no need to even debate this topic as we are two different sides politically speaking.

    • Anthony,

      As a successful Afro-American-negro-male south of th 5’7 marker they do not want all successful black men. Only 8% of black men in the US make over 75k a year. I have been in that category for three years now I am 31 it has not helped me. I see “unsuccessful” black men taller than me with black females all the time.

    • Kushite Prince,

      What make Anthony an Uncle Tom. From what I gather it is “he presents an ideology I disagree with…”

  8. Hi Gatas,

    Great post, and as usual very insightful answers. However, I respectfully disagree with you and agree with thepaperroute:
    the math is not serving the white ellites. I also disagree that Brazilian is successfully whitening itself in any way. I agree
    only that the plan exists, it is on the head of the elites and even on the head of (specially) mixed-raced blacks.. but it’s not working at all.

    This is not only what the numbers tell, but also what my eyes tell me.

    Brazil had (and still has) as plan to eliminate blacks through miscegenation: this plan is not working in many ways:

    1) The amount of people who can “pass as whites” (that is the goal here, of course) is not growing, is decreasing. 20 years ago, you would go in South Brazil and the amount of “passing as whites” people was certainly greater than today. If you know the south like I do, that would be your hint number one.

    2) The problem of race miscegenation boils to what the gene pool of Brazil is and who is reproducing faster. Blacks have still the upper hand here, having more children than whites. Yes, many of the successful black children will marry whites, but worry not: the first generation is still black. The second generation might or might not be if it marries with white again. But even when that happens, in parallel there are more blacks having families with blacks (there are, less and less “true whites” for the whitening process to work) in a larger number.

    3) The worry of mixed-race is not any way of the disappearance of blacks, but I admit there is a perverse element of wealth transfer. If a rich black marries a poor white and the mixed kids marry other poor whites only to divide the black wealth, well, that is indeed shooting it’s own foot. But overall I would not worry about blacks disappearing as a race, whites are the one who should worry, at least in Brazil.

    • Hi there PTR!

      I appreciate your comment. But let’s look a little further into this as I want to understand something you wrote a little better plus ask your opinion about something.

      “the math is not serving the white ellites”

      “I also disagree that Brazilian is successfully whitening itself in any way.”

      These last two comments I will address here.

      In terms of the math, how would you address this point? Numerous DNA studies done all over Brazil for the past decade have shown that, depending on the region of the country, pretos and pardos can carry an average of 50-70% European DNA. Let’s be clear. I don’t necessarily fully believe in such studies as I naturally don’t trust all Eurocentric studies simply due to the history of lies and the funding of such projects influencing the results. But on the other hand, I often note that when brown-skinned pretos or pardos produce children with white people, their children often come out looking very white. Straight hair, pale skin (not exactly white, but only a slight tan), and very European features. I’ve seen this in the five states I’ve visited. In contrast, when I see mixed children born of black American parents, these children often retain more negroid features. A loose curl in the hair, thicker lips or overall stronger negroid features. This tells me that the black Brazilian is indeed more mixed than the black American. And a mixture between a white Brazilian with a preto/pardo can certainly lead to a baby that appears more European in its appearance. Again, I wouldn’t say exactly extremely white, like people one sees in England, but certainly a sort of Mediterranean whitish look.

      I agree that Brazil can never attain whiteness if we use Germany or England as the parameter for “true whiteness” but in this case, whitening can mean two things. 1) Attaining whiteness or 2) the whitening or lightening of the nation’s darker elements, which I definitely see.

      “20 years ago, you would go in South Brazil and the amount of “passing as whites” people was certainly greater than today.”

      Excuse me but I’m not really understanding what you’re saying here. States such as Santa Catarina and Rio Grande do Sul are extremely white. If you are saying that there were more people “passing as white” 20 years ago, what are you saying about today? Have those “passing as white” become officially white or are you saying the preto/pardo population, which is already small, has grown. I need more clarity to understand your point here.

      “there are, less and less “true whites” for the whitening process to work”

      Again, as I wrote in the first response, I wouldn’t say Brazil would ever reach what you define as “true white”, but I DO believe it can reach a point where dark-skinned blacks are extremely rare, pardos are extremely light-skinned, and everyone else will be either white or nearly white. Again, when I speak of whitening here, it doesn’t mean to say European whiteness but rather much closer to white than black.

      “perverse element of wealth transfer.”

      This is a point I have argued for years. In various communities online, whenever I make this point, there is ALWAYS silence because NO ONE can argue against it. This is the element NO ONE wants to talk about. Not only is there a permanent transfer of wealth of those successful blacks, but continuous unions with whites assures that upper middle classes will ALWAYS have much lighter skin. It is yet another facet of the whitening process that all the Neymars, Thiaguinhos, Alexandre Pires of the world don’t see and have no interest in seeing. I haven’t researched all of them, but can you imagine how many important historical black Brazilians are represented by white families today? This is another reason I would argue that white supremacy is more efficient in Brazil than in the US.

  9. These Uncle Toms don’t know what they’re doing. Resources, overall stability and peace of mind in a black household, will always be affected by a black man choosing a white woman, because generally speaking, he is the head of the household. YOU ARE WHO YOUR WITH! If you’re a black man in any country within the America’s and Europe and you can’t handle a Sista, then that just means you’re weak, because black women are the strongest women on the planet BY FAR. And of course LOVE HAS A COLOR, because you have to LIKE them FIRST! If a brutha has a tendency to date white women then he LOVES that color. And thats the problem, what makes him like that color over his own? Which leads to social engineering etc, which does exist. The powers at be, have been using black people as guinea pigs for centuries, with all kinds of social experiments So as a black man in America my last question to my bruthas would be, When did we become so WEAK? When did we not want a beautiful, strong, Sista by our side, who understands us perfectly and has our RESPECT? SINCE WHEN?

  10. Hi Gatas,

    Let me tell you from where I’m coming. 20 years ago I visited some small German colonies in the south. I could not believe my eyes that was Brazil.
    100% blond kids overall and people speaking German! Last year, I came back to the same place – unsurprisingly, it was way more black. Not that the majority was black, certainly, it was a majority of whites, but the African admixture was present and I think this is a natural phenomenon due to the fact of having a black majority.

    About the math and genes. Yes, it’s true that the blacks population may have (I agree with you, should we believe the statistics here?) a large admixture with Europeans, but the same go for our so-called “whites”, they have a large admixture with Africans. I don’t think we are in a position to worry about extinction of blacks in Brazil – we ALWAYS win the gene race, blacks genes are stronger, they are dominant. I don’t understand the fuzz with black genocide through interracial marriage – whites should worry, not us.

  11. The real issue here to me is white supremacist thinking (i.e white is better and more attractive etc etc) and our reaction to this phenomenon.

    Im from the Uk from African Caribbean background and while alot of black men have white partners, there are loads of black women here who subscribe to the white supremacy mindset. You only have to a popular dating site like to see how many black women in the Uk want to date white men exclusively ( they can check a box for their preference). If you can extroploate from a website.. At least 50% of black women in the Uk want a white man. Not even a mixed

    But the way I see it. For both sides to be thinking like this is, its obvious that we are not providing defenses to our children from the white supremacist bombardment they get every day all day. Too many parents are content to let the Television babysit their kids. Too many are ignorant or find it unnecessary to instill any form of historical pride in their ancestors achievements BEFORE slavery and colonization. And then we wonder why we face the same inter generational problems of lack of black economic power/ political power/ and self hate/extreme poverty manifesting in crazy conditions within our communities across the Americas and Europe.

    Bottom line is when you do not educate ( which actually means to socialise correctly according to the needs of the community/ no point having a bunch of miseducated black fools who uphold white supremacy and cant think out the box) your own children they will be subject to all sorts of social pathologies. A black family where all of the siblings have white partners is not unheard of here in the Uk. But I see this as a symptom of a far bigger problem. Not the problem of black people disappearing, but ultimately resource transfer and upholding white supremacy. Counteract white supremacy(WS) ( it can be counteracted) succesfully and many of these problems will become non issues. Counteract WS and we gain economic and political power by default. Defeat starts in the mind.

  12. I like this blog. ive been following for a few years. My only criticism is ( and I have the same criticism of Africans worldwide) is that as well as focusing on the problems and obstacles we face, lets also focus on SOLUTIONS that we can help implement/ are being implemented.. and require support.

    We Africans in the west deal with too much protest politics and not enough building up of our own informal and formal institutions. We can only moan about the European and his methods so much. Sometimes for many it becomes therapy in its own end.

  13. i agree with the administrator even though i believe feminism is a sickness.
    if black people keep marrying whites generation after generation we will become extinct.JUST LOOK AT ARGENTINA AND ARGENTINE HISTORY. they brought only white people to argentina, killed off native argentines made black argentines fight in wars disproportionately and intermixed with blacks until blacks were almost extinct. if you think that marrying whites generation after generation is no big deal think again.if you want to mix your self out be my guest but do not encourage intermixing with whites on a large scale as if there are no consequences.

  14. The excuse of slavery for black men is an old outdated ..the negros have turned their backs..and there’s something globally wrong with them..their an embarrassment. Most

  15. Dear black women of Brazil,

    I am a black women in America and it’s still very hard, I don’t know when they will see the day . Maybe when there is little of us existing . The insecurity of the black man has taken over in this society and he shall be punished one day. All I can say is I understand even when I have met a nice black guy. There is joy of hope but not so certainly everlasting .

  16. Hi there
    I thought to give you all a perspective from a fellow black female from Europe.

    I am a black female in her 20s and I find it difficult why the majority of black women are wasting their energies and strength on black men’s existence and choice of dating interracial. I am very offended by how The society is so quick to strongly describe black women as destructive to the black race and create all sorts of scornful, degrading and dehumanizing images of black women to the reason why black males chose to be interracial romantic. It is very offensive and aggressive to label the entire existence of black women as destructive to their community. I am offended because my experiences and life does not in anyway reflect this as truth. As defined by the society and specifically black men and women, I am black. Even though I myself defines myself as simply an individual, the society is constantly fighting me for being an individual and forcing on me an identity called the “black woman”. To be honest, I really don’t care about the issue of race and views everybody as individuals, but the overall society specifically the black community will not let me do this by constantly labeling me as black and forcing on me the identity of black which I myself do not understand. I personally do not like black men and really don’t give a shitt about them. This is not because of their skin color, but because of the hatred , disrespect and scorn they are constantly subjecting black women to. As a 26 year old, I have never seen on tv, heard on the radio, read in magazines or newspapers or even met a black man who cares about the vulnerabilities of black women in the society. When a black woman is a victim of racism, black men are nowhere to be found. When a black woman is raped or killed by a white man. Black males do not start up demonstrations and campaigns about racism, they 99% of the time has nothing to say!. I have ever since a child been seeing black men disrespecting, hating and stigmatizing black women to the most degrading and dehumanization of character and existences as possible. They do this through their hip hop/rap songs, youtube videos, speaking dishonorably and destroying the reputation of black women as a whole to their friends and acquaintances. They are also constantly racially discriminating, humiliating and scorning black women to their faces during personal encounters. Regardless of the visibility of this hatred black males has towards black women in the society. The society blames black women for the dysfunction of the black community, when the males who are supposed to be rulers and guardians are accepted to destroy the mothers of the black community. The society yet expects and forces black women to be loyal to these black men who show in all ways they hate black women to the core an considers their lives valueless. Because of this, I don’t give a shitt about black men and stays far away from them and will never get romantically involved with them. Nobody can or even should force me to like something or a group who has been making it very clear for decades they passionately hates me to the core simply because I am a female with a black skin!

    • H Juliet. Very strong words that you wrote here. I am curious to know in what country you reside. I’ve often read comments similar to yours about black men in Europe, specifically in France and England. I’m also curious to know if you perceive a difference between how the attitudes of black men who may be immigrants from the Caribbean and those who are immigrants from Africa treat black women. Is there a difference or, in your experience, is it the same? Why do think have such an attitude toward black women?

  17. I read a lot of bullshit in the article, plus there’s so much sexism .
    Im a black Brazilian man, I love black women; in fact I prefer black women as companion, girl-friend or wife. Ps: im single.
    But I personally know so many black women who won’t date black men because the prefer ‘whites’.
    So plz, stop with the (feminazi) crying.
    Everyone gets a ‘bad deal’, it’s parallel, 50% of each, black men/women are and or prefer ‘whites’.

    Peace out.

  18. Yes Juliet is typical of the attitude black women have in Europe. A lot of them are nasty pieces of work, in love with white supremacy who hate/dislike black men. I don’t touch them with pole. Give me an African/ Caribbean women nopot born in Europe every day all day.

  19. Meanwhile, millions of Brazilian black single mothers are running around with half-white babies, and the majority of wealthy black Brazilian women are married to white men. On top of this, the majority of white DNA in black people (all over the western hemisphere, and in Cape Verde) comes from white men, not white women.

    • shhhh ! cant mention that too much.

      sorry, but this site is a lot of phonyness. The only time you see black women caring about anything a black man does is when the black man has a white woman on his arm.

      it is the black female who is the racist. you only notice the man and desire him when he has a white female – then he warrants your attention. You value him according to whether he has or can attract white women …..and then you consider him “successful”.

      god forbid that man is single, not yet “financial set but striving”, or god forbid – married to a black woman: you will ignore him at best ……………

      it is black women who are creating this problem ….. Your sons see you fawning over “lightskin babies” , white women’s hair, and white people in general and naturally assume that the thing to do is marry white.

      stop worrying about the black men with white women and focus your attention on the vast majority of black men who are scorned and ignored by Brazilian black women because she wants to lighten her race by having light babies.

      • Bs!! It’s like you black males are the same everywhere in the world! Black women in Brazil and America are fighting to protect you regular black males. …..the men and boys in the slums killed by police. But its you regular black males commiting most of the crime and abuse. It’s you regular guys NOT working and living off black women. Demanding sex and respect,when you can’t be proper husbands or fathers.
        All these Fatherless black kids around are by you regular guys pretending you’re being ignored.

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  20. I have a hard time figuring out why people in the Americas refer to themselves and practically fit their worldview through the lens of “color” and “race” when COLOR and RACE are the direct products of European colonialism and the Roman Catholic Order’s Inquisition.

    It is strange to see various peoples view themselves through the eyes of Conquistadors and other pirates.

    Regardless, men and woman have the right to choose whom they please. The end. If you do not have a coherent cultural identity behind some sad tale of abuse, then expect people who have higher aspirations to go elsewhere.

    I mean the current European stock is well known have have emerged from literal caves and other lesser conditions, but you do not see them complaining everywhere about it these days. European women used to be the face of “human trafficking” around the world, etc.

    Part of the reason people stay in a degraded state is IGNORANCE. People who make habitually poor choices will naturally find themselves classed as low or no status.

    I can not speak for those of Brazil, but I can say in the USA, poor focus should be placed on SELF EXAMINATION rather than just blaming “external factors” and giving lazy color based explanations for human behavior.

    If a man or woman chooses a person it is because they were attractive to what the individual is looking for. Many a thug has been chosen by a woman because he was “hot”. Many a man has chosen a loose woman because she was “hot”.

    Skin color is merely a political metaphor for character and values (CULTURE), which are the real motivating factors. A habit of blaming others and not taking self responsibility is indicative of a degraded culture, which many humans will find generally unattractive for long term purposes. stainless steel equipment

  21. Racial purity is the mating call of the undesirable.
    Human sexuality is racially agnostic.
    Also, there are 2.4 billion black people on the planet.
    Black man. Date/marry who you damn well please.
    It is no one’s business, not even if they were the one’s tasked with approaching, charming, courting and paying.

  22. “Racial purity” is the mating call of the undesirable.
    This whole post reeks of calls for some sort of sexual communism.
    Last time I checked we have a thing called natural selection and it is yet undefeated.
    So unless you have the political power/military might to establish some kind of arranged for of mating black men are free to choose whatever mates they wish.

    Black man, you’ve been freed from slavery a long time ago.
    Date/marry who you damn well please. You are the one, in fact, who has to be the “provider” and he who pays the bills makes the rules.

  23. @Kushite

    I’d pay to see you try and stop IR dating/marriage. Never issue a command without the power to exact consequences. You’ll look powerless and stupid as a result.
    Sexuality is racially agnostic. I guarantee you if YOU saw a white woman nude you’d be aroused. You just wouldn’t tell anyone.

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